Today was a good day

That is saying something for a survivor of abuse.  Not that we are down and out all the time.  Not that we want pity.  For me, it’s after suffering decades of abuse to have a day where my triggers are manageable.  It’s a day where I can finally see my hard work paying off.  It’s a day where I know I smiled a whole lot more than I shut down.

I can see where to others it can seem odd.  On bad days, CPTSD sufferers are battling to stay in the moment, so we can seem distant, angry or cold.  Medium days are the ups and down and can be tiring.  Good or great days can send us soaring, as it’s really like a weight lifted off of our chests, even if just for a bit.

Until you’ve been kept down at the bottom, it’s hard to understand the relief and joy when the weight gets lifted.  I am thankful for my good days.  I try to remember and hold on to this feeling.  If I can remember it, I can use it on the not so good days.  I can know not every day is a bad one.

Positivity has done wonders for me.  I hope you find what works for you.  If you do, hold onto it tight.  Work at it like you’ve never worked at anything before.  It is worth it.

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